Valancy Jane

As cute as this might be ….

09Nov09

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….. it most likely means that his kidneys, the ones that took a beating in that car accident five years ago, are failing.

Not confirmed yet, but it really doesn’t look good.

Send good thoughts? I can’t picture my life without my Mau.

Filed under: Mau, go ahead and cry, nonononono | 4 Comments

While at the doctor’s on Weds, she reminded me that I was due for two vaccinations, a tetanus booster and the first of the hepatitis Be vaccinations. Now, I knew as soon as the nurse asked if I was right or left handed that one of them was gonna be bad, but I did not expect to get as sick as I did.

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The next morning I woke up so sick I almost cried when I tried to stand up. And in my stupidly fevered state, I was thinking, I can go to work, I can do this. If I can just walk a little, take some deep breaths, I’ll be able to work through the stiffness and stand upright. So I decide to go to the 7-11 two blocks away. I practically crawl there, and I’ve got fever and chills but I’m so stiff that I’m not shivering, I’m twitching. I overheard the cashier whisper to the other “meth” in a singsong tone, and I thought, ok, if I’m being mistaken for a tweeker, I think I should stay home from work.

So I crawled back into bed and didn’t budge all day, until I had to. I had an appointment at four with my psychiatrist, and unless you have a note from the ER, a missed appointment means your insurance won’t cover the fee and you have to pay out of pocket the entire cost of the appointment. So I had to drag myself in and attempt to convince him that the anti-anxiety meds are working like a dream, and the fact that I look like a zombie is completely unrelated! I owe it to our good working relationship that he took me seriously.

I’m feeling much better today, which really is a low hurdle to jump, but I’m grateful. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to wrap my arms in caution tape, to ward off those well intentioned squeezes of where I got my shots.

Filed under: alternative medicine, ow | 4 Comments

I know I should know better …

06Nov09

… than to drink canned expresso, but DAMN, what is that aftertaste?

Sweet baby Jesus, it tastes like how a Kragen Auto Parts store smells.

Filed under: ew, foooooooooood | Leave a Comment

Bedside manners

04Nov09

doctors office

For the low, low bargain basement copay price of twenty dollars, I got the full work up, the vajayjay checkup and a boobie rubdown, and a valuable lesson.

I learned that it is not appropriate to ask your (young) (hot) (female) (yes, this is relevant to the story) doctor if, while she’s feeling up your goods, you can take a picture for a male friend and/or financial gain.

Filed under: alternative medicine, can't take me anywhere, oooooolala | 10 Comments

You know those people ….

03Nov09

….. who can’t resist telling you how much they paid for something when you compliment it?

I think I’ve become one of those. But in the cheapskate way, is that honestly any better? Maybe? No? Darn.

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The knit navy dress is from the Everything $5.99 store, the navy sweater is from Forever 21, costing $12.99. The boots are once again the five dollar yard sale find, the knee socks from Target set me back two bones. The bracelet came from a quarter vending machine, and the necklace was a gift from my grandmother, who used to live next door to the artist.

nov 3rd

Today we have the little black dress I picked up for $3.50 at the Salvation Army. I’m delighted with more than just the price, the fabric is thick and it’s very comfortable. The necklace you might recognize as the two dollar once I picked up from a local shop called Octopus Clothing, the socks are again from Target, this time $2.50. And the shoes. Have I ever mentioned that I bought my favorite shoes from the costume department of Walmart, two years ago, for seven dollars?

Filed under: high fashion | 3 Comments

Money today!

03Nov09

Yost: I’m starting to be worried about my genetics. According to these emails, the Yosts have a predisposition to dying in Nigeria.

Valancy Jane: Shame none of them left any large fortunes laying around so that you could be prepared for those medical bills.

Yost: What threw me off the first time is that I DO have an uncle who works for Exxon in the Pacific Rim
I had to call my grandparents

Valancy Jane: Yeah, go call and tell them their son might be dead.
That actually IS a good way to get an inheritance.

Filed under: Yost, actual conversations | Leave a Comment

Oh …. darn ……. you …………. win?

02Nov09

I could have clarified to her I was never trying to be his girlfriend, but I find it funnier to just let her walk away with what she thinks is the prize.

Filed under: Huh., dating is weird | 2 Comments