Willow sent a catnip mouse
Actually Willow sent a(nother!) box stuffed to the seams with delightful things (homemade personalized fortune cookies!!). Willow is half angel, half princess, half crimefighting unicorn.
My wonderful Amber sent a generous check to cover Mau’s medication. Amber is made of pure cotton candy, and in ancient times was revered as the goddess of dewdrops and baby birds.
Visitors, dinners, letters, wine …
I am blown away by the generosity of all of my friends, to me and to “just” a cat. My God. Excuse me while I cry into this bag of candy and gold star confetti, and wipe my eyes with a letter that arrived already tearstained.
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Thank goodness for steroids.
They’ve bought Mau maybe two more weeks of relative comfort, after which we would expect to see a very quick decline.
Two weeks is also the amount of I have left in my current apartment. I’ve avoided talking about my job on the internet for obvious reasons, but at this point they can’t afford to fire me. Literally. To fire someone you have to PAY them, and that hasn’t been happening in a timely manner for months, or at all for weeks. We’ve been teetering at the brink of folding for awhile, and I suspect our time is almost out. So far I’ve kept afloat but between vet bills and the lack of consistent paychecks I can’t continue.
I don’t want to wreck my credit over this, and as much as it KILLS me to give up my warm little apartment, I’m lucky to have the option of staying with my brother for awhile.
Since Mau’s health will most likely begin to plummet right around moving day …. it’s not worth the stress on him, just to gain a day or two.
Mau will not be making the move with me. For almost nine years, virtually my entire adult life, my sense of home has been rooted around my cat. Please tell me how I’m going to get through this, and don’t say steroids.
Filed under: Jesse, Mau, buck up lil camper, city life, death and taxes, fuzzylove, homesweethome, i love my job, nonononono, pets | 12 Comments
If cuddles could cure ….


For now we wait. I’m taking all my cues from Mau. When he can no longer eat, or breath comfortably, I’ll know it’s time. A few days? A week? I’m hoping for two. I’m cooking his food in salt and butter, and hey maybe lunch will have a splash of wine in it, it’s not like I have to worry about his liver anymore….
I know what I’m going to have to do, I just don’t know how I’m actually going to do it.
Filed under: Dulce, Mau, Posh Bucksaw, fuzzylove, go ahead and cry, pets, summer of buckman | 14 Comments
I owe you guys an update.

Unless you already heard my heart shatter.
Surgery and radiation are available but my vet doesn’t advise it. Mau has been trying to tell me all week that he’s miserable. He’s having trouble eating, and he’s starting to wheeze.
I know what I have to do.
Filed under: Mau, go ahead and cry, nonononono | 12 Comments
Today or perhaps tomorrow.

Waiting on the biopsy results.
Poor little dude is a squashy pulpy lump of misery, but seems to be hanging in ok.
I kiss his face as often as he’ll let me.
Filed under: I'm scared, Mau, alternative medicine, fuzzylove, pets | 2 Comments
I confess.
I wasn’t checking my email just now, or writing a text. I was taking your picture. You caught me, and there’s been plenty of times you haven’t.
I do it because you’re prettier than you think. I do it because I like all your different smiles, not just the one you save for the camera. And I do it because the older I get the faster time seems to go by and whenever I think to myself “where DID the year go?!” …….. it’s easy for me to remember the answer.
I spent it with you.











Filed under: Bethany, CT, Jesse, Lele, Posh Bucksaw, Zia, angelica, aurora, can't take me anywhere, cody, jadon, pictures, sally, summer of buckman | Leave a Comment













