Monthly Archives: August 2008

Strays always follow me home.

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When I stepped off the plane I saw what looked like the remains of a party near the gate. A few used paper plates, napkins, and three balloon arrangements. A tired looking cleaning woman was moving toward, slowly. I made eye contact while reaching for one and she shrugged. So I took it with me. As I was walking to baggage claim Rose called to say she was laid out with a migraine, and to hop on a shuttle. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to take them on a shuttle, but when I got outside, it wasn’t so much outdoors as a tunnel. If I ditched them there, they’d just drift among the cabs and buses, prolly causing some sort of international security incident. I smiled at the shuttle driver and said yes, firmly, that the stray balloons were with me, and coming along.

I think they’re happier here with me anyway.

True Story.

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Jonny says:
A complete stranger proposed to me once.

Amberocity! says:
really?
why arent you married?

Jonny says:
Well, sort of.
She actually asked Ross if he thought I’d want to marry her, while I was in the toilet.

Valancy Jane says:
Jonny, I’m not a COMPLETE stranger.

Jonny says:
He said to ask me when I got back.
And she did, and I said, “no thanks”, or words to that effect.
lol VJ

Amberocity! says:
hehehe
jonny you broke that poor girls heart

Valancy Jane says:
*sniffle*

Jonny says:
Ah, she’ll get over it.

Valancy Jane says:
It’s bad enough that you said no, but now you insist on telling the story.

Amberocity! says:
it takes a lot to ask the man you love best friend to ask the man you love to marry you

Jonny says:
VJ, you were a complete stranger that time when you banged on my door at 3 in the morning, stark naked.
You know, the night we met.
And you asked to marry me.

Amberocity! says:
did you get pictures jonny?
please say yes

Jonny says:
I only said no because I was having sex with two other women at the time.

Amberocity! says:
hehee

Valancy Jane says:
I see.

Jonny says:
You know, as I was answering the door.

Amberocity! says:
rosy palm and her five sisters

Valancy Jane says:
I can see how that would be disrespectful to them.

Jonny says:
On the other hand, as I recall they couldn’t speak english.
either that I just wasn’t listening.

Amberocity! says:
the other hand couldnt speak english?

Jonny says:
Don’t be silly now. I’m telling a sensible and completely plausible story.

Amberocity! says:
hehehe
this from a man who said “toilet gremlins” today

Jonny says:
And that a gazelle climbed out of the freezer and disposessed my house.
which is how I became the Belgian ambassador to weightwatchers.

OH. MY. CHAELPHELPS.

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Michael Phelps. Michael Phelps. MichaelPhelpsMichaelPhelpsMichaelPhelps.

Now I’m going to sit back and watch my hit counter explode. Apparently there is magic in the name “Michael Phelps,” and I have no qualms about invoking it for personal gain and/or fame. But it doesn’t stop there, no. Why should it? I’m going to whisper his name gently while asking for a raise. “I really feel (michaelphelps) that I’ve earned it, don’t you?” I’m going to say 37 Hail Michael Phelps to excuse what I did last weekend. (And if YOU say 38, I’ll tell you what I did last weekend.) I’m going to print out this picture, write out my wishlist on it, and mail to Santa, and my grandmas.

If you can think of any other ways to ride this wave (no euphamism intended but certainly also not ruled out), by all means do it. And tell me if it works.