Category Archives: questions

Gosh, even Cash Cab lets you have one Phone-A-Friend.

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I was waltzing into the grocery store the other night and yes, maybe I was actually waltzing.  It was 80 degrees warm and I was happy.

This trim, bright-eyed thing asks me right before the doors, “can I ask you just two questions for my sociology thesis?”  The only possible answer to that in my polite, sunset-beach world is yes, yes of course!

“Yay!  Ok.  Which immigrant group has been most beneficial to the US?”

I smiled an indulgent smile.  She must have misspoke.  We don’t ask questions like that.

I got blank brightness and realized that was really her question.  I mean …. goodness.   I stammered a bit around the word “diversity,” but I can’t recall a single coherent thought I expressed so it’s no shock she wasn’t making notes.   Finally I threw out “Canadians!  My boyfriend is a Canadian and he’s totally my favorite.”  And then mentally facepalmed at hearing myself sound so, like totally smart.

“Ok.  Great.  So.  Which immigrant group coming to the US causes the most problems.  In your opinion.”

*blink-blink* 

I checked back two or three times at her face this time, the same innocent expectance on her features.  I suppose I should have seen that question coming but ….. she really expected me to Answer That Question.  With Words.  There was some more stammering from me about diversity being inherently valuable but it was probably less coherent that the last time.  

She really wasn’t going to let me off the hook, and to walk away seemed like it was saying “screw you and education along with it!” 

I flashed on saying, “Duh, WHITE PEOPLE,” but it was clear she was referring to the modern nation, not the continent as a whole.  (Although in hindsight that answer still doesn’t seem to be …. incorrect.)  So I flubbed out something about how our lack of understanding and appreciation for other cultures is really most often the problem.  Why, just for example I recently saw this video where muslims are gathering in LA to fundraise for local LA charities and they’re heckled by a bunch of  rednec……… oh shit, she’s going to take the short answer of what I said as “muslims.”

“NO!  Uh, ONLY BECAUSE OF US, and our LACK OF KNOWLEDGE about their ACTUAL CULTURE AND FAITH!”

She nodded at my discomfort (finally!) but her pen was raising to her pad.  “I see,” she said.

As she wrote her lips seemed to mouth her words, “very uncomfortable,” and I can only PRAY her study wasn’t on American immigrants but on how retardedly silly white people are when they talk about it.

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I find myself strangely fascinated …

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… by the question, but what TYPE of sandwich was it?  I’m guessing ham.  Aurora guessing meatball sub.  Enquiring minds want to know, get on that, media.  And if anyone wants to start a betting pool, I’m in.

Also, speaking of questions, I can help answer a big one in your mind, I’m sure.  There’s even a daily RSS feed for that one.

“Do you like golf?”

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“Well, that’s a tricky question.  I like walking, I like trees, and grass, and golf carts.  I like afternoons with friends.  I like plaid pants, especially on men.  There’s nothing about it to dislike.  I just can’t bring myself to care one way or another about balls and clubs and aiming.  I can’t be bothered to hurry, or care that my score for a hole is over thirty seven.  So really, I guess I like golf, but golfers, understandably, don’t like me.”