Monthly Archives: July 2009

“Please silence your cell phones.”

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Uh, no one here? Eff that. I’m calling people! “Guess where I’m calling from?”

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Healthcare spending is defense spending.

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“We maintain that if you support defense spending – and believe that one of the government’s only jobs should be to make sure that its citizens are safe and protected – then spending money to make sure that all Americans are covered is taking this belief to its logical conclusion.”  – Adam Carl.

I hear a lot of people say they’re not comfortable paying for someone else’s health care.  I say, I’m as comfortable paying for their share of defense spending (which is what every taxpayer is doing right now) as I am ….. you know what, no.  I’m MORE comfortable paying for their health care.

Really, we’re already paying for the LACK of universal health care.  We pay every time a mentally ill person is displaced from an overcrowded mental hospital and ends up homeless on our streets, wrecking the havoc of their disease.  We pay every time an un-imunized person spreads a communicable disease, every time someone dies senselessly from a something we have the technology to prevent.  These are more likely to touch me than a car bomb, if you look at the numbers.  I’m comfortable paying to protect myself from these things.

You aren’t actually required to be a bleeding heart to see that our individual health is largely impacted by our collective health.  But I know we’re capable of more patriotism, more compassion than that.

Anthropologically speaking, what defined the evolution between ape and man was the day we began caring for our sick and injured, even when it slowed us down.  The essence of what makes us human is our defiance  against “survival of the fittest” and our arrogance to demand, to the best of our ability, survival of us all.

Hobbies

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When a date asks you, “what do you like to do for fun?” or “what are your hobbies?” do you ever consider answering that honestly, instead of filtering the list for the ones that make you sound good?

I mean, I DO read a lot.  I DO love spending time with kids.  I DO actively seek out volunteer opportunies.  I DO love to cook.

But there are other ways I spend my time.  And I’m not about to say –

“Well, last Sat. Drea and I sat on her couch and watched a lot of TLC and picked at our pedicures and felt superior to the people on reality tv, and that was a pretty good day.”

“I like to take walks and honestly?  I look in people’s windows a lot.”

“I like to take my friend Aurora different places and see how long it takes her to say, ‘I LOVE this place!  We should come here all the time!!’  Usually about one and a half to two hours.  Everytime.  SO CUTE.”

“I’m pretty obsessive about eyebrow plucking.”

“I like to talk about my dating life with Drea, slightly too loudly, in the gym, while that gal and her personal trainer pretend not to listen.  Yeah, that’s pretty fun.”

“It’s hard to put it all in one catagory, but I end up using markers a lot.”

“If you spend as much time I do sorting recycling into the five different, labeled, and alphabetized cans under my sink, I’m pretty sure that counts as a ‘hobby’.”

“Finding stuff to stick googly eyes on.  Oh and giggling.”

“A lot of my time goes into talking myself out of buying stuff I find at thrift stores, but I suppose this is more Drea or Buckman’s hobby.”

“Sometimes I play a full hour of Flood-It on my iPhone in bed before I fall asleep.”

“Spotting the differences between the snails in my fish tank so that I can tell them apart once I’ve named them.”

And of course I don’t really mention how much time I spend taking pictures of myself, but I’m pretty sure Facebook spills the beans on that one.

So what do you do for fun?

I really do want world peace.

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Coworker – “So the other night at the bar, when we were talking and I just took off?  Sorry, it was just that a few  of our guys were rather drunkenly having words with those guys from Boston and I so I was trying to diffuse it by moving our guys to the other side of the bar.  Didn’t mean to just take off on you, and everything was calm after that so I guess I did the right thing.”

Valancy Jane – “Oh, it’s totally ok.  Once you left, I started making out with one of them.”

Coworker – “Oh.  I see.  And here I thought it was my diplomatic skills.”

Valancy Jane – “We all did our part.”