Monthly Archives: May 2008

What do you mean, there’s no extra credit?


DUI school counselor – “…. Ok, so yes or no, now after the DUI, do you still drink socially?”

Valancy Jane – “Well, like I said, I decided not to drink for three months, which is what I did.  That was up a while ago, and so I had a glass of wine on Memorial Day, at dinner with a friend.  I just figure that with the whole zero tolerance thing (driving with even a trace of alcohol in my system will earn me a second DUI and alcohol works out of your system at only about 0.015 per hour and there is no way to speed that up meaning a few drinks could take about 10 hours to work out of my system, putting me at risk for a morning after DUI) I wouldn’t drink if I was going to be driving to work the next morning, and of course obviously not if I was planning on driving that evening, including a slew of other factors like, if they served a wine I like, or if it was appropriate to drink in that situation, when I’d drank last, etc…..”

DUI school counselor – *taps pen*

Valancy Jane – “…. so I guess you could say I might drink if I didn’t have any reason not to, and well, these days I have a LOT of reasons not to.  I suppose, you could say it’s like an eclipse, really.  Every thing would have to line up just right.  It’s possible, but not likely to line up that way often…”  *notices that the counselor’s pen has jabbed holes in the paper around the Y and N boxes, and voice trails off*

DUI school counselor – “SO.  *rubs eyes.*  Yes, then?”

Valancy Jane – “Yes.”


Epilogue –

DUI school counselor – “…. Ok, so we’ll see you Thursday.”

Valancy Jane – “I’ll be there.  Early.”

DUI school counselor – *rubs eyes*  “I know.  Hey.”

Valancy Jane – “Yeah.”

DUI school counselor – “If we gave grades, you’ll have an A.”

Valancy Jane – “I guess you knew how badly I needed to hear that.”

Out sick


Yesterday I could feel a cold slamming into me, and so I pre-called in sick for today, and we arranged for a temp to come in.

I called this morning at 8am to make sure she was settling in ok.  She picked up and said hello and I ……… well, I was reminded of why I was out sick today. 

“………. *squeak*”


“……….. -i.”

“Um, hello?”

My voice was gone, particularly since I hadn’t even tried to talk since I’d woken up that morning.  Within a few minutes of rasping attempts I got my vowel sounds back and about half of my consonants. 

In those few minutes, I think that poor temp was terrified.  I can imagine what she was thinking was something along the lines of “WHY WOULD A FISH CALL ME WHY IT WAS DYING?”

Shine on, cows.


It was all rather accidental that I ended up living where I did.

I had planned to move someplace very close to my work, and found a place.  Then my landlord backed out at the last minute, and I had to scramble to find something else affordable, available, and pet friendly, and had to widen my search.  But now I’m so grateful that I ended up exactly where I did.  I love my neighborhood, I love my very protective roommates. 

I’d finished the bulk of my unpacking pretty quickly, but the bookshelves and knickknacks remained a challenage.  See, I’d downsized from a full house, and so I’d kept only my favorite things.  But my favorite things from my old living room didn’t really match my favorite things from my old bedroom, etc.  And after looking it all over, trying to find a few things that worked together, I just gave up.  There’s wasn’t enough storage in my room for all the things that wouldn’t match, and besides what was the point of keeping them if I was going to hide them away; I kept them because I like them, and there’s a story behind most of my favorite things.

So I asked Rhett, a man of taste and imagination, to validate my whim to just throw caution to the wind. 

So if you are overwhelmed and dizzy from what follows, RHETT SAID I COULD, OK?

More pictures and details (including confirmation that yes, that is Golden Girls on the TV) here.

My room now reminds me of both a childs bedroom and a back porch.  Tell me that’s not awesome.

Sister talk


ZezZee –
hey love of my loves

Valancy Jane –


Valancy Jane –

ZezZee –

Valancy Jane –

ZezZee –

Valancy Jane –

ZezZee –
turtles don’t have butts

Valancy Jane –
Sure they do.
They’re very firm.

ZezZee –
fair enough

So then I said ….


….. “Sometimes I get angry when I think about what he took from me, but then I take a deep breath and think about the things I learned from him, that no one can take away from me. For example, how to shoot out a window with an air cartridge and a piece of pvc pipe.  So I guess what I’m really saying is ……. if anyone asks, I was with you last night.”