Monthly Archives: August 2009

It’s so nice to have a (gay) man around the house.


striped top I'd date me

Or so the song goes.

Buckman talked me into this top. And then sympathized with me when the date I wore it on went badly.
(Would you ask for a blow job and anal and no condom and then top it all off by informing your date you never go down on women? I mean SERIOUSLY.)

(Remind me to tell you about the date that tried to lure me into an abandoned building, the one who got drunk at 9:30am, and the one that gave me his assistant’s phone number.)  (And before you ask, no, none of these were dating website hookups.)

I need a cleansing of my dating aura, stat.

In the meantime, Buckman’s my very own stylist/private security force/good listener.  Every single gal should have one.

Busy. Doing stuff.


Tomorrow’s gonna be an interesting day.  It will include sugar and rope and wardrobe quick changes and paperwork and a guy named Crazy Ray and it will be hosted several hundred feet off the ground.

Before you remind me to bring my camera, remember who you’re talking to.  The girl that took a few minutes out of this insanely busy day to take pictures of her outfit.

vintage dress

Update soon, kids.

Some benefits I should be denied.


Nurse – “Thank you for calling the nurse line.  Can we help you find a doctor today?”

Valancy Jane – “Yes, thank you.”

Nurse – “Would you prefer a male or female doctor?”

Valancy Jane – “Seems like everyone wants a female doctor these days, and they’re booked up.  I want a doctor I can see fairly quickly, so I’ll say a male doctor.”

Nurse – “Language preference?”

Valancy Jane – “Italian?”

Nurse – “Ok ….. any other preferences?”

Valancy Jane – “Yes, I’d like a young doctor, someone recently out of medical school, up on all the latest advancements.”

Nurse – “Ok …. any other preferences?”

Valancy Jane – “Yes, I’d like a doctor who’s available nights and weekends, you know, after work, so if I could get a doctor who’s not married, that would prolly be best.”

Nurse – ” …………….. Ok ………..”

Valancy Jane – “And as a single woman, someone out there on the dating scene, I feel I’d get better care from a doctor who is also attractive and popular, he’d understand my potential medical issues better.”

Nurse – ” ………. Uh……….”

Valancy Jane – “And I’ll need a doctor who gives out his personal cell number.  You know, in case of emgerencies.  And one who likes wine, I’m tired of being told to drink less.”

Nurse – ” ……….. Ma’am?”

Valancy Jane – *sigh*  “Fine.  I’ll stay with my current doctor.”

When I look at pictures ….


…. I often get the feeling my life is an ad campaign for something, I just haven’t figured out what I’m selling yet.

hi we came with your new picture frame

Sometimes I think it’s headbands, or sex.  Sometimes I think it’s love, or vegetarianism, or vanity, or bravery, or bohemianism.  Sometimes I think it’s a new religion and sometimes I think it’s things my grandmother taught me.

Today I find myself wanting a pulpit and a new fall line and a cooking show and an empire.  Because even if I’m wrong about everything, it’s such a happy kind of wrong, and it seems so many do so much worse.