Category Archives: the internet

“We will ALL Die!”


Dooce IS spoiled.  Spoiled with genius commentors.  I still can’t stop laughing at #93 (which is copied and reposted by presumably the same person as comment #94 and #100).


Do you realize how F—ing spoiled you even are? That things in your life are so wonderful and going so well that you actually have the freeedom and liberty to complain about how your bathroom looks?!?!?!

i would give anything to have the great life you obviously have, to be able to comaplin about my bathroom! Id give anything to not have relatives who are dying, a potential job loss in the future, lots of $$$ that you make from advertisers to your blog, a healthy child, another on the way, and a husband who dotes on you. Do you even realize how blessed you are?? Do you?

how come every one of your posts is a sarcastic one about something going on in your life, thats actually a blessing? Why do you turn around every incident that happens to you and poke fun at it, when it actually just shows youre a blessed person?

All i can say is– enjoy it while it lasts. time still still for nobody. We are all getting old, and will get sick and die. We will ALL Die! every one of us. all our parents, our partners, our kids, our relatives and our friends… we will , someday, be alone with nobody who loves us unconditionally.

i used to be blessed. a wonderful upbringing, great friends, great family, the best of schools… all gone now. or almost gone. i didnt truly appreciate it till it was gone.

but gone it is. and gone it will be for us all.

like the unmatched tiles in your bathroom… they will all be gone.

do i sound jealous? its cause i am! i yearn for those days again. but theyre over. theyre gone.

Oh that last line.  *holds sides*  All this about a bathroom remodel.

I see potential.


Colsy sent a link to this article, prompting the following discussion.

Lisslo – What? You can’t rely on Wikipedia? I don’t know about all of you, but I’m utterly shocked.
P.S. I love Wikipedia. LOVE it.

Colsy – haha…actually you CAN rely on wikipedia. it was the media.. hahhah!

Valancy Jane – Sooooooooooooooooo …………. you’re saying I can convince everyone of total lies by putting it on Wikipedia? Is anyone else excited by this?
I’m going to open a page describing me as the most beautiful woman in the world.

Colsy – i believe you.
Except. These would not be lies VJ. 😦

Valancy Jane – See? It’s working already!!!!

Lisslo – It must be – I didn’t even need to look at Wikipedia to find that out. I just knew. It’s common knowledge now!

Valancy Jane – The media outlets have picked it up, without checking. You prolly read it in People.

You know what’s sad?


It’s sad when you’re looking at Somalia’s official government website and think to yourself, “my blog is better designed than this.”

As Kim pointed out, I prolly have a better space program as well.  The president’s email is on the website, I think I’ll email him.

“Dear Sir,

I’m ready to fight, should the war spill over into Southern California.  I have a war budget of like, 20 or 30 dollars, some heavy rocks, and a watch dog.  Keep me posted.

Sincerely, Valancy Jane.”

It’s possible I have too much time on my hands.

Valancy Jane says:
I would send that email, but I’m afraid it would put me on some sort of watch list.
Kim says:
That would be assuming they had a watchlist.
Valancy Jane says:
And I’m flying to SF at the end of the month.
Kim says:
These are people who use Ethiopians as their military allies.
Valancy Jane says:
I don’t need to have to explain this to my little brother why I can’t be at his robotics competition.
Kim says:
That’s like asking the crazy guy in the metro if you can borrow a five.
Valancy Jane says:
But then, considering that he prank calls the Kremlin about once a month, I think he’d understand.
I love that kid so hard.

RE: His status message


Valancy Jane: “Banned from Yahoo answers”?

Cody: k

Valancy Jane: I could hug you.
What did you do?

Cody: some 14 year old girl asked what type of job she could do from home and I said to post on craiglist under the erotic services section. But only do incall and wear protection

Valancy Jane: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

Cody: 🙂

Valancy Jane: I feel the same way I did when one of the kids I work with opened her purse and it was full of candy and a bottle of lighter fluid.
So proud.