Category Archives: the crazy

Wherein I convert.

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I am owning this picture

Last Friday night, Buckman and I, with his friend Elliot, went to Dor Hadash synagogue, to counter protest the protest of Westboro Baptist Church. 

with the crazyfolk

It was a very surreal experience.  A friend said he thought I was brave, but I actually think it was the WBC protesters who are brave.  According to their signs, they believe that “Rabbis Rape Kids,” and “You (meaning us) Will Eat Babies.”  And yet, THEY BROUGHT THEIR OWN CHILDREN. 

I think that’s brave.  I looked down at a beautiful little blond girl of about six, wearing a shirt that says, “God hates Fags” and holding a sign that reads, “Thank God for IEDs,” and said to her “Don’t worry sweetie.  I’m a vegetarian.”

The kind folks at Dor Hadash invited us to join them after the protest.  And lawdy, can they put out a good spread.  I began to seriously consider joining.

buckman and elliott at synagogue

The service was lovely, and afterwards, the Rabbi invited us back today for a get together.  She promised us homemade schnapps and a pinata, at which point my jaw just dropped.  It’s like they invented a religion just for me.

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Who’s familiar with Westboro Baptist Church?

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According to their (hilarious) picket schedule, they are coming to San Diego for four days of protesting.

Protesting amoung other things, all things Jewish (allowing non-virgin women to live), a handful of high schools (letting the gays have their gay), Protestant and Catholic churches (allowing women to talk), and La Costa Spa (???).

So the question is, is counter-protesting them a pointless waste of time, or good clean fun in the form of feeling vastly mentally superior?

“We will ALL Die!”

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Dooce IS spoiled.  Spoiled with genius commentors.  I still can’t stop laughing at #93 (which is copied and reposted by presumably the same person as comment #94 and #100).

YOU ARE ONE F___ING SPOILED PERSON!

Do you realize how F—ing spoiled you even are? That things in your life are so wonderful and going so well that you actually have the freeedom and liberty to complain about how your bathroom looks?!?!?!

i would give anything to have the great life you obviously have, to be able to comaplin about my bathroom! Id give anything to not have relatives who are dying, a potential job loss in the future, lots of $$$ that you make from advertisers to your blog, a healthy child, another on the way, and a husband who dotes on you. Do you even realize how blessed you are?? Do you?

how come every one of your posts is a sarcastic one about something going on in your life, thats actually a blessing? Why do you turn around every incident that happens to you and poke fun at it, when it actually just shows youre a blessed person?

All i can say is– enjoy it while it lasts. time still still for nobody. We are all getting old, and will get sick and die. We will ALL Die! every one of us. all our parents, our partners, our kids, our relatives and our friends… we will , someday, be alone with nobody who loves us unconditionally.

i used to be blessed. a wonderful upbringing, great friends, great family, the best of schools… all gone now. or almost gone. i didnt truly appreciate it till it was gone.

but gone it is. and gone it will be for us all.

like the unmatched tiles in your bathroom… they will all be gone.

do i sound jealous? its cause i am! i yearn for those days again. but theyre over. theyre gone.

Oh that last line.  *holds sides*  All this about a bathroom remodel.

RE: Polyphasic Sleep

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Valancy Jane: Bunny would say she’d shiver to think of the things I would find to fill the time.

Ikey: hahaha, you do have lots of VHS
and lots of craft supplies

Valancy Jane: I’d prolly start writing letters to my Congressman again. Signed by my cat.

Ikey: lol

Valancy Jane: He never wrote us back …..

Ikey: maybe his cat doesn’t have the same liberties

Valancy Jane: That’s precisely his complaint in the letter.

OMGMAKEOVERS!!!!

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Valancy Jane says:
We believe in snow like people in the Pacific Northwest believe in Bigfoot. We all know someone who claims to have seen it.

Rhett says:
I can guarantee you that snow exists.
I HAVE SEEN IT

Aurora says:
so YOU say

Valancy Jane says:
I want to see Bigfoot so bad.

Aurora says:
really?! he sounds scary :/

Colsy says:
no kidding
a co-worker saw him twice
he likes kids
has stinky poop

Valancy Jane says:
Well, to be a bit more specific, I want to meet a Bigfoot and become his friend and let him give me piggy back rides and I’d make him tea parties and we’d be so happy.

Aurora says:
haha
but he’s all grody and hairy!

Colsy says:
b/c you just know some little old lady is feeding him breadcrumbs every day

Valancy Jane says:
He lives in the woods, of course he’s dirty.
Maybe if he became my new roommate he’d be cleaner.
And we could do a reality show, full of our goofy hijinks.

Rhett says:
Tyra could interview him and then do a show about her feelings.

Colsy says:
lol

Valancy Jane says:
That show would be the pinnacle of my entire existence.

Not that I’ve spent any time picturing it or anything …

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Rhett says:
[Friend] just got a voicemail from the Tyra Banks show. They want to use her gallery for something.

Colsy says:
holy crap

Valancy Jane says:
ASK [Friend] IF I CAN BE THERE.
I WANT TO MEET TYRA SO BAD.

Rhett says:
YOU HAVE TO COME TO NEW YORK

Colsy says:
AND BRING YOUR FIERCE!

Valancy Jane says:
SOMEHOW I KNOW IT COULDN’T DISAPPOINT.

Colsy says:
and tell everyone about your online polygamous relationship

Valancy Jane says:
I don’t want to talk to her so much as I want to listen to her.
She’s say something crazy and I’d always have that moment. Like an autograph, but better.
A personal story of the TyraCrazy.

Rhett says:
CRAZY

Valancy Jane says:
Maybe I’d even get a picture with her, and she’d have crazy eyes and MASSIVE hair.

Colsy says:
lol

Valancy Jane says:
I WOULD BE SO HAPPY.
I would kiss her and she’d prolly let me.

Colsy says:
with tongue

Valancy Jane says:
As long as we could talk about her reaction to it afterward.