Category Archives: quotes

Things said while cleaning the kegerator with Jesse


“Go get four paper towels.  FOUR.”

“See if you can put those 27 parts back together.”

“I’ll pay you five bucks to lick that drain.”

“Is there a specific pro- …. Oh look who I’m talking to, what’s the specific procedure, and how many paper towels will it require?”

“I would only go through all this work for true love, or beer.”

“What do I do with this ‘pump and probe’ lube? ………. Nevermind, I’ll just call Buckman and ask.”

Sometimes I ask myself ….


…. what would Karen Walker do?

A quick Google consult, and I always find my answer.

“Get on your back, point your heels to Jesus and think of handbags.”

“Don’t be too chatty, just try to sound like you have big boobs.”

“Honey, if I gave in to every persuasive argument I’d be in some kind of crazy three-way marriage with Maury Povich and Connie Chung!”