Category Archives: Lola!!!

Fill in.

Standard

Zia – “Did you know you can send a blank text message?”

VJ – “I did, actually. Lola taught me that it’s a fun way to mess with people.”

Advertisements

A new study suggests that ….

Standard

….. women are evolving to become more beautiful over time.

Here, they explain the how and the why.

Aurora

Miss Kendra

drea

Kim

drea me bethany bug

Sam

Coco (by Coco)

Lacey

Lou (by Lou)

Aurora and Jay

Lola

bug drea

But I mean, I could have told you that.  I don’t know any un-beautiful women.  I checked.

“I love bread and olive oil,” Aurora said.

Standard

“I wanna take it out behind a middle school and get it pregnant!”

Next week I’m going to attempt Lola’s infamous bread recipe, and so this week while simmering some black beans, I tried my hand at flavored olive oils to accompany them.

4947_216257795155_508930155_7392256_6174869_n4947_216257810155_508930155_7392258_5907563_n

The one on the left is lemon, persimmon and dill.  The one on the right is jalapeno, cilantro and hellfire damnation.  I’m pretty sure it will cause chemical burns.  I’m pretty sure if I stuck a wick in it instead of a nozzle, it would be a weapon.

I’m really excited to try them.

Next project, flavored vinegar.  Flavor suggestions for a red wine vinegar?

Art show

Standard

When Lola was here, she noticed I have two of her paintings on my wall.  “I’d forgotten about these!” she said.  “Will you take a picture and send them to me?  I want to show my husband.”

lola painting 002

art 006

While I was at it, I took a picture of the painting one of my little kidlets did of Rudolf the bunny.

art 008

I’m not sure if he recognizes his name, but whenever anyone squeals over how cute the painting is, he bounces around like, “HELLO, the ORIGINAL is RIGHT OVER HERE.”

Which made me think that perhaps if there was a painting of Mau around, Mau would be relieved of dealing with quite so much annoying adoration.

art 010

You’re welcome, Mau.

Walkie Talkies

Standard

The following is a list of things said into walkie talkies, at the zoo, by Lola and/or I.  It’s a wonder we’re not banned.

– “We have a monkey flinging poo.  Two civilians down.”

– “I’m out front of the rhinos.  Why do I only see two rhinos?  ……………. Uh, YEAH.  ………… Yes, I realize what this means.”

– “All is calm here.  News apparentely hasn’t spread yet.”

– “I can confirm, yes, hole in the condor net.  The condor hasn’t noticed it yet, so feed him NOW, or we may have a much bigger problem on our hands.”

– “Send Marci to the gift shop for some of those iron on patches.  Maybe we can make the hazmat outfits look like standard zoo keeper gear…”

– “How do you ACCIDENTLY leave THREE gates open?”

– “I TOLD you it was a bad idea to put the pandas next to the nacho cart, but did you listen?  *heavy sigh*  Get the baby shampoo.”

It had been suggested a time or six that Lola and I belong in a zoo.

Standard

So when she came to visit, we did the civic minded thing to do, and took ourselves there.

We took our time and walked, because it was a glorious day and a glorious route.  Also because we wanted to eat a lot.

4483_84589828681_500878681_1878145_6032344_n

4483_84589833681_500878681_1878146_6421973_n

4483_84590483681_500878681_1878152_6230802_n

4483_84590493681_500878681_1878153_1592674_n

It’s a good thing we didn’t stop and feed the fish.  ‘Cause you’re not supposed to do that.  So we didn’t.  I swear.

4483_84590498681_500878681_1878154_5884969_n

4483_84590513681_500878681_1878156_3644583_n

4483_84591158681_500878681_1878163_2311840_n

Lola and I had brought our infamous walkie talkies, the ones that had gotten dusty in the two and a half years since I’ve seen her last (sweet Baby Jesus, has it been that long?  We had to do the math to check).

We were only able to pick up the security channel in bits and pieces, so mostly we used them to talk to each other.  While standing next to each other.

This made us very popular in line for the bus tour.

4707_204843340155_508930155_7112750_2527623_n

4707_204843360155_508930155_7112752_4761668_n

In an attempt to deflect attention away from how obnoxious we were being, we’d occasionally point to a tree and squint and look really surprised.

Or we’d have conversations with “base” about how everyone was calm here, and the news of the escape hadn’t spread yet.

n500878681_1878165_8198665

An employee plucked out out of line to cut onto an earlier bus.  Either because they sensed that the woman in front of us was about to hit us, or because we were the only small group that could fill up the last two seats.  I’m still not sure, possibly both.

4707_204843365155_508930155_7112753_8160972_n

A little boy of about four or five years turned around as soon as we sat down and said “hello laaaadies,” in precisely the tone of a fifty year old man who’s offering to light your cigarette.  “I like your dress,” he added, looking me over slowly.

I can only imagine this must have been what George Clooney was like at that age.

I wanted a picture but his father was already looking nervous about our association with his son.

4707_204843375155_508930155_7112754_1111117_n

Yes please. I would like one.

n508930155_7112755_5504503

Spectacle bear and cub

n508930155_7112756_554142

4707_204843455155_508930155_7112765_4519216_n

They have so many giraffes, I don't understand why they won't give me one.

They have so many giraffes, I don't understand why they won't give me one.

4707_204843400155_508930155_7112758_4792837_n

I’m convinced these would be the easiest of all the animals to steal.  Contact me for details.  Or just go with a khaki shirt, a patch from the gift shop, two backpack straps, and a stapler, and figure it out for yourself.

n508930155_7112757_1615540

Speaking of gift shops, why do I like them so much, and never buy anything from them?

4707_204843410155_508930155_7112759_2576115_n

n508930155_7112760_4948241

4707_204843435155_508930155_7112762_503836_n

n508930155_7112761_3353281

Lola and I practice how not to lose our necks, as TyTy is always warning us.

n508930155_7112763_3230525

n508930155_7112764_4208157

n508930155_7112767_5150582

n508930155_7112768_6809320

The mama and baby anteater were actually one of the cutest things I saw all day.

n508930155_7112769_3465671

MEERKAT!

4707_204843495155_508930155_7112770_2033408_n

Someday I want a lawn full of flamingos.  Real ones.

n508930155_7112771_6562951

I seeeeeee you!

n508930155_7112772_2803845

4707_204843510155_508930155_7112773_6751154_n

4707_204843515155_508930155_7112774_2394700_n

4707_204843520155_508930155_7112775_5240048_n

“Caution – Gorilla statues may be hot!”

Clearly this guy agrees, as he unwittingly recreates Lele’s shot.

n508930155_7112776_7428203

n508930155_7112777_6635716

4707_204843540155_508930155_7112778_6673233_n

Ever wonder what it looks like when a hippo poops?  I don’t.   Neither does this kid.  We know.

4707_204843590155_508930155_7112784_3610947_n

4707_204843550155_508930155_7112779_5039169_n

The best thing about zoos is also the scary thing for someone like me.  By making me care about the animals and naming them and letting me stand really close up, is that if I ever encounter a polar bear in the wild, I will prolly go running towards it, arms outstretched, hearing soft music in my head.  I will practically crawl into it’s mouth.

So Lola and I lavished our love on the statues.

4707_204843585155_508930155_7112783_8198533_n

n508930155_7112780_72648

n508930155_7112781_6624088

n508930155_7112782_1911701

4707_204843595155_508930155_7112785_5535198_n

These guys so serious and so adorable, all at once.

4707_204843605155_508930155_7112786_3884342_n

Helping kids climb the statue is a socially acceptable way of speeding up the line …..

4707_204843610155_508930155_7112787_1158550_n

…. so that it gets to be your turn sooner.

n508930155_7112788_3991127

n508930155_7112789_3788157

n508930155_7112790_5300874

n508930155_7112793_6480349

4707_204843645155_508930155_7112792_665960_n

n508930155_7112794_50317

Prehistoric lions are apparently nicer than modern ones.

4707_204843660155_508930155_7112795_4779465_n

Well, maybe.

n508930155_7112796_7177648

4707_204843675155_508930155_7112797_1723361_n

4707_204843690155_508930155_7112799_6899625_n

n508930155_7112798_4459536

Please refrain from noting the resemblance of this photo to a school dance photo.

n508930155_7112800_3945890

And please refrain from noting the resemblance of me to the two toed tree sloth.

n508930155_7112801_4482807

n508930155_7112802_4888093

n508930155_7112803_832122

n508930155_7112805_5548097

It was really just a mugging gone wrong.

n508930155_7112806_6735450

“Lola, go see if you can get some ketchup!”

4707_204843720155_508930155_7112804_7929535_n

4707_204843755155_508930155_7112809_7274581_n

4707_204843765155_508930155_7112810_3153378_n

The capybara’s are my favorite animals at the zoo.  They used to be located right by the pretzel cart, a fact that was not lost on them every time I came to visit.  Next time I’ll have to bring an extra one.

n508930155_7112807_2776066

I wonder how big a donation you have to make to the zoo to be able to spend an afternoon cat napping with the capybaras.

n508930155_7112808_6943477

n508930155_7112815_1675888

The tour guides and signs had a lot to say about the “enrichment trees,” which are really just structures to hang toys and puzzles from for the elephants, to keep them from getting bored.

Clearly, I need an enrichment tree in the lobby.  Full of glitter glue and liquor bottles.

4707_204843775155_508930155_7112812_8060021_n

4707_204843790155_508930155_7112814_4104087_n

n508930155_7112816_517851

“I’m a bird!”

“Security.”

n508930155_7112817_77388

“Say I’m a bird!”

“Security.”

n508930155_7112818_4868560

“No, a BIRD.”

“Security.”

4707_204843825155_508930155_7112819_1815019_n

“It’s a line from a movie.”

“I know.  Security is coming.”

“Oh.”

n508930155_7112820_4059916

n508930155_7112821_6744228

Did you know there are beetles who’s sole goal in life is to roll poop into perfectly round balls?  I can’t help but be reminded of some people I know.

Anyway.  While some people were WATCHING a film about elephants …

4707_204843855155_508930155_7112823_6930758_n

4707_204843865155_508930155_7112825_8039413_n

4707_204843890155_508930155_7112827_4053414_n

n508930155_7112822_7381714

n508930155_7112824_518107

n508930155_7112826_6926364

n508930155_7112828_4212302

Actually, I kid.  There was no one else around watching it.  For some reason the exhibit was totally deserted, prolly because it was getting both warm and late.  At more than one point, Lola looked around and wondered if they’d closed and somehow missed us.  An event we both agreed would be the best of our entire lives.

4707_204843915155_508930155_7112831_7129510_n

4707_204843925155_508930155_7112833_92300_n

That is an ass.  Kissing an ass’s ass.

n508930155_7112834_7617068

And speaking of things that make one snicker, although this one much more sadly, we have a sign about the huge human effect on extinction rates, and then in the background, a restuarant called “Sabertooth Grill.”

n508930155_7112829_1251643

n508930155_7112830_2841182

4707_204843920155_508930155_7112832_2542932_n

Here, an elephant collar proves that it’s a good thing elephants don’t want to eat us, because they clearly could swallow us.  Sideways.

n508930155_7112835_8097748

4707_204843945155_508930155_7112836_3238347_n

n508930155_7112837_7260829

4707_204843955155_508930155_7112838_5334228_n

4707_204843970155_508930155_7112839_3357963_n

n508930155_7112840_6160358

What?  We didn’t go MUCH farther….

n508930155_7112841_3760239

This little meerkat was in a hurry to get somewhere.

n508930155_7112842_7557601

Perhaps to his home office?

n508930155_7112843_2649990

In contrast, I half expected these guys to start singing and dancing.

4707_204844000155_508930155_7112844_4297959_n

4707_204844005155_508930155_7112845_6416036_n

n508930155_7112846_155854

4707_204844015155_508930155_7112847_3512025_n

4707_204844020155_508930155_7112848_2635696_n

Now, if it flew into the zoo of it’s own accord, the employees can’t do anything if you take it out ………. right?

And I’m pretty sure this pea hen and chicks WANTED to come home with us.  I mean, we were having pizza and wine for dinner.

4707_204844025155_508930155_7112849_3051053_n