Category Archives: birdies

Nine pound bird is not a euphemism.

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Valancy Jane and Buckman – *trying to get the attention of a Victoria Crowned Pigeon*

Buckman – “That one’s looking at you.”

Valancy Jane – *clucking noise*  “Look at him, he’s coming closer!”

Victoria Crowned Pigeon – *coming closer*

Valancy Jane – “I don’t know what this noise means to him but it must mean something, look at the way he’s coming over here, bobbing his tail.”

Victoria Crowned Pigeon – *comes closer, faster*
*takes off*
*TRIES TO HUMP MY FACE*

Valancy Jane – “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

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And that’s how I learned that pigeons are territorial.

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When we saw them huddled in a tight group in the parking lot, Knickers whispered, “Drive though ’em!”

I advanced slowly into the flock, but they didn’t fly off as expected.  The just barely scooted outta the way, leaning out of the way of my tires, rolling their eyes and tolerating me the way you tolerate people moving in and out of your aisle at the moving theater.

The few that were actually displaced by my tires simply few up a few feet and I kid you not, resumed their place on the roof of the car.  Within a minute we were in the middle of the group, and now I was scared that one of them was going to get all Tiananmen Square on me and let himself be run over, but they surrounded me on all sides. 

I tried honking, which got me the reaction of them all bouncing up about one foot off the ground and then settling right back in their spot within about four seconds.  Which didn’t help me at all.

While Knickers made squishing noises I slowly advanced out of the group in a constant state of cringe, lest I actually hit one.  Finally we were free of the group.

I turned and took this picture.

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I have no idea how to feel about what happened.

Tough choices.

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Valancy Jane says:
I once saw birds outside a Carl’s Jr that were too fat to fly away.
They were eating from the dumpster.
And this other bird tried to chase them.

Someone says:
i think we can make an equation here
where fat birds are subject to the constraints of aerodynamic

Valancy Jane says:
Maybe if I stopped eating there, I would be able to fly.

Someone says:
dW/dt=c^2B

Valancy Jane says:
But ……….. *shrug* guac burgers ………….
Flying …………….. guac burgers ………..

Here today, gone to Maui! Chapter Two

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It was dark by the time we got to the hotel in Ka’anapali Beach, but I fell asleep with the balcony doors open so I could hear the crashing waves.  Which sounded remarkably like my redneck neighbors starting up their trucks in the middle of the night, so I felt right at home.

Slept like a baby, and bounced out of bed at 5:30AM, local time.  (Thank you, time change, for making me feel so smug and self-righteous and ahead of the game.)

I walked out on the deck and drank in this…..

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I didn’t want to wake up Rose and Little Nick, so I slipped out for a walk.

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I found a koi fish who exactly matched my outfit.  Guess which one?

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When  I got back to the room, Little Nick was begging Rose to lock him out on the balcony so he’d have an excuse to climb onto a neighbor’s balcony. 

I love them so.

Rose was as excited as I was at the prospect of a cup of coffee, so we grabbed a cup ….

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…. and took a walk down the beach.

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I briefly considered getting one of these, in the baby size, for Mau.

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As you can see, I was really, ridiculously happy to have my toes in the surf.  Also, a half second before this picture was snapped, Rose mentioned parasailling.

We hung out by the beach for awhile, you know, being cool.  And stuff.

Little Nick is just waaaaay too cool.  It’s a wonder he’s willing to hang with us.

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And Rose is fiery hot.  I blame her for the heat.  But not the humidity.

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I told Little Nick that I wanted one of these birds, but quickly recanted, as he set out to GET me one, and looked fully capable of it too.

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I found/fell in love with/made plans to elope with a hammock.

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Little Nick jumpstarted the hammock for me.  Because he’s awesome like that.

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He said my book, I am Thinking of My Darling by Vincent Hugh, was the weirdest book he’d ever read.  To which I said, “Oh honey.  Lemme loan you some more of my books.”

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I never wanted to leave.

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But I sure didn’t mind jumping into the rental car …..

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…. and following the rainbow into Lahaina.

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To be continued ….