Things I cannot do while taking Percocet.

Standard

A list compiled by my doctor, myself and popular request.

  • Drive a car
  • Ride a bike
  • Feel my lips
  • Remember my fish’s names
  • Drink alcohol
  • Drink water without spilling
  • Uncross my eyeballs
  • Online shop
  • Turn on the oven
  • Remember my neighbor’s names
  • Crochet
  • Straighten out of the fetal position
  • ANYTHING INVOLVING SALSA
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9 responses »

  1. I was going to say sing Karaoke but how funny would that be if you sang karaoke while on Percocet? I would pay to see that.

  2. That’s what would be funny about it. As my friend calls certain karaoke performances, “That was awesomely bad” I think it would be awesomely bad to get a person on percocet up there to sing-slur, blink, get distracted, start singing again, peer out at the screen with the words on it, lose their spot, sing three words behind where the song is, try to dance and then stumble. You get the point. It’s like when you get a really drunk person up there. IT’S PERFORMANCE ART!!!!!!

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