It had been suggested a time or six that Lola and I belong in a zoo.

Standard

So when she came to visit, we did the civic minded thing to do, and took ourselves there.

We took our time and walked, because it was a glorious day and a glorious route.  Also because we wanted to eat a lot.

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It’s a good thing we didn’t stop and feed the fish.  ‘Cause you’re not supposed to do that.  So we didn’t.  I swear.

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Lola and I had brought our infamous walkie talkies, the ones that had gotten dusty in the two and a half years since I’ve seen her last (sweet Baby Jesus, has it been that long?  We had to do the math to check).

We were only able to pick up the security channel in bits and pieces, so mostly we used them to talk to each other.  While standing next to each other.

This made us very popular in line for the bus tour.

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In an attempt to deflect attention away from how obnoxious we were being, we’d occasionally point to a tree and squint and look really surprised.

Or we’d have conversations with “base” about how everyone was calm here, and the news of the escape hadn’t spread yet.

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An employee plucked out out of line to cut onto an earlier bus.  Either because they sensed that the woman in front of us was about to hit us, or because we were the only small group that could fill up the last two seats.  I’m still not sure, possibly both.

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A little boy of about four or five years turned around as soon as we sat down and said “hello laaaadies,” in precisely the tone of a fifty year old man who’s offering to light your cigarette.  “I like your dress,” he added, looking me over slowly.

I can only imagine this must have been what George Clooney was like at that age.

I wanted a picture but his father was already looking nervous about our association with his son.

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Yes please. I would like one.

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Spectacle bear and cub

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They have so many giraffes, I don't understand why they won't give me one.

They have so many giraffes, I don't understand why they won't give me one.

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I’m convinced these would be the easiest of all the animals to steal.  Contact me for details.  Or just go with a khaki shirt, a patch from the gift shop, two backpack straps, and a stapler, and figure it out for yourself.

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Speaking of gift shops, why do I like them so much, and never buy anything from them?

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Lola and I practice how not to lose our necks, as TyTy is always warning us.

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The mama and baby anteater were actually one of the cutest things I saw all day.

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MEERKAT!

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Someday I want a lawn full of flamingos.  Real ones.

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I seeeeeee you!

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“Caution – Gorilla statues may be hot!”

Clearly this guy agrees, as he unwittingly recreates Lele’s shot.

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Ever wonder what it looks like when a hippo poops?  I don’t.   Neither does this kid.  We know.

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The best thing about zoos is also the scary thing for someone like me.  By making me care about the animals and naming them and letting me stand really close up, is that if I ever encounter a polar bear in the wild, I will prolly go running towards it, arms outstretched, hearing soft music in my head.  I will practically crawl into it’s mouth.

So Lola and I lavished our love on the statues.

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These guys so serious and so adorable, all at once.

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Helping kids climb the statue is a socially acceptable way of speeding up the line …..

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…. so that it gets to be your turn sooner.

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Prehistoric lions are apparently nicer than modern ones.

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Well, maybe.

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Please refrain from noting the resemblance of this photo to a school dance photo.

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And please refrain from noting the resemblance of me to the two toed tree sloth.

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It was really just a mugging gone wrong.

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“Lola, go see if you can get some ketchup!”

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The capybara’s are my favorite animals at the zoo.  They used to be located right by the pretzel cart, a fact that was not lost on them every time I came to visit.  Next time I’ll have to bring an extra one.

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I wonder how big a donation you have to make to the zoo to be able to spend an afternoon cat napping with the capybaras.

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The tour guides and signs had a lot to say about the “enrichment trees,” which are really just structures to hang toys and puzzles from for the elephants, to keep them from getting bored.

Clearly, I need an enrichment tree in the lobby.  Full of glitter glue and liquor bottles.

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“I’m a bird!”

“Security.”

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“Say I’m a bird!”

“Security.”

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“No, a BIRD.”

“Security.”

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“It’s a line from a movie.”

“I know.  Security is coming.”

“Oh.”

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Did you know there are beetles who’s sole goal in life is to roll poop into perfectly round balls?  I can’t help but be reminded of some people I know.

Anyway.  While some people were WATCHING a film about elephants …

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Actually, I kid.  There was no one else around watching it.  For some reason the exhibit was totally deserted, prolly because it was getting both warm and late.  At more than one point, Lola looked around and wondered if they’d closed and somehow missed us.  An event we both agreed would be the best of our entire lives.

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That is an ass.  Kissing an ass’s ass.

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And speaking of things that make one snicker, although this one much more sadly, we have a sign about the huge human effect on extinction rates, and then in the background, a restuarant called “Sabertooth Grill.”

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Here, an elephant collar proves that it’s a good thing elephants don’t want to eat us, because they clearly could swallow us.  Sideways.

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What?  We didn’t go MUCH farther….

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This little meerkat was in a hurry to get somewhere.

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Perhaps to his home office?

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In contrast, I half expected these guys to start singing and dancing.

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Now, if it flew into the zoo of it’s own accord, the employees can’t do anything if you take it out ………. right?

And I’m pretty sure this pea hen and chicks WANTED to come home with us.  I mean, we were having pizza and wine for dinner.

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6 responses »

  1. I loved this post! I will show why in numbers:

    1.) I kept thinking “I need that purse!”
    2.) LOLA!!! AND YOU!! TOGETHER AGAIN! YAY!
    3.) MEERKAT! OH MY GOD! MEERKATS! They are my favorite and I need one. I will die if sometime in my life (right now) I do not have one as my pet.
    4.) All your posing made me laugh! Loved the mugging gone wrong, the helping kid up so the line would move faster! You two are cute as a button!
    5.) This is probably one of the nicest zoos in the world and you really live in a pretty place. If I ever come visit you, will you take me to this zoo?
    6.) EVERYTHING!

    Off to get more coffee, in case you could not tell that I have had more than one cup already!

  2. Looks so much fun!

    Nice pictures and sights oh and acting also.

    the one with an elephant is so funny, it almost looked real hehee.

    Then the one you lying from a lion/leopard is like a picture on an online game i played *Perfect World*. Kewl!

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