ComeOFF lines.

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Lately I’ve been wondering, what’s the fewest amount of words you could use to end a date. Take someone’s romantic interest and kill it all-the-way dead so that there’s not even the need to decline a second date.

Chip and I came up with “OMG, I love my cat so much, when he gets old, we have a suicide pact.”

And Bethany and I came up with “I’ve already knit my wedding dress.”

Do you have a trusty line, or suggestion?, so

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12 responses »

  1. If you can figure out which way they lean, politically, just say, “Well, I gotta go, I need to catch the Bill O’Reilly/Keith Olbermann/Rachel Maddow Show.”

  2. You don’t know me and I don’t know you, but I noticed your user name on Dooce’s blog and was so surprised and pleased (and surprised) that I came over here–where the first thing I noticed was your link to A Softer World.

    Also, in response to your post, I occasionally make use of good old-fashioned gross-out-age, a la “I may have to cut this date short, that appetizer/drink/movie popcorn gave me the squirts.” That way, you’re on your way a little early and your crassness is a barrier to future solicitations. Win!

  3. Any line from Weird Al’s “Wanna B Ur Lvr” would work.

    “I want you to come home so you can meet my mom.”
    “Did anyone ever tell you that you have Yugoslavian hands?”
    “Girl, you smell like Fritos. That’s why I’m giving you this hungry stare”

  4. “If you see a man about six foot tall, reddish brown hair, and a face like an axe murderer, let me know, so I can go hide in the girls room. My husband does not like when I date.”

    Or is that too obvious?

    “It’s so nice to be away from my six kids and have some adult time.”

    “It’s nice to be out. Usually on a Saturday night I’m at home crying over my old wedding pictures, drunk and talking to my cat. He’s the only one who gets me.”

  5. Veaj, will you do me the honor of naming my new ipod? I get the feeling it’s a male. Silver, ipod nano, sleek and sassy.

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