Mother’s Day

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I know nobody wants to upset me, and I know I gave a long list of things not to say.

But I do wish we could talk about her sometimes.  Yes, I will cry, but that’s ok, right?  It’s like a dream that I woke up from, that no one else remembers.

Brady and I never did agree on a name so in my head I call her Sadie, since that’s our names together.  And I picture her as a baby with chubby fists, that prefered to make noise by banging things than by talking, and a toddler who brought you her books to hear you say you like the pictures too, and a little girl who looked very serious when she tied her shoes and dragged half the backyard in, stuck in her hair, and a teenager who was very good at remembering peoples’ birthdays, and through-out her whole life, very very good at saying “no,” very calmly and politely.

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15 responses »

  1. I’ve been struggling with what to say but mostly it is that Sadie is an amazing name. My “Child” would be an adult now and I still think of “him” that way. The day will never be the same and you don’t ever have to pretend it will. HUGS!

  2. I was tiptoeing around this because I don’t want to say anything that would make you sad. Sadie is a lovely name, and you’re an amazing woman. I’m going to stop with that, everything that I write beyond that makes me sad and I don’t want you to be sad too…

  3. I don’t know what to say, but will always listen if you want to talk about Sadie, about the experience, about anything. I know you know that, but I’ll say it out loud anyway, because sometimes we need to hear it.

    I love you and wish I could ease the hurt somehow with something I say or do. Even if just for a moment, even if just a little bit.

  4. Erm.

    I’m actually Therese.

    That comes out almost kinda creepy coming from Doug, doesn’t it?

    🙂

  5. I love you & my heart is going out to you.. I’m only a couple of hundred miles away right now too- wish it was close enough for a hug (and my shoulder for you to cry on).

  6. My Presley is exactly as I imagined she would be at 2 years old, so keep imagining! You have experienced motherhood and should be celebrated as a mother beacause you created a tiny little being and took care of her while you had her. It is sad, but Sadie deserves to be remembered and you should be honored.

  7. Veaj, yesterday Tyler woke me up by calling me from the other room wondering where his baseball socks were and when I got up he asked what was for breakfast. But before I got out of bed and embraced another day of being a Mom, I sat in bed for a moment and thought about YOU and Colsy and other friends that have been through what you are going through and I wished you all a Happy Mother’s Day in my heart.

    We are always here for you if you need us.

    And Sadie is an breathtakingly beautiful name with a sweet meaning.

  8. When I don’t know what to say, I say nothing.

    I still don’t know what to say. Tiptoeing is right.

    I’m still sorry.

    Sadie is a great name, VJ.

  9. The name Sadie rocks! I had an aunt we all called Sadie. Her “real” name was Sarah 🙂 No kiddking! You are absolutely awsome. (gotta get back to lurking, can’t see through the tears).

  10. You can talk about Sadie whenever you want.

    It’s absolutely OK to cry.

    But the dream thing? Don’t forget that we all remember.

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