I just got an invitation …


… to my father’s second wedding in a year.   Who ever she is, she must have noticed my conspicuous absence in his life.


What I don’t understand is why he even mentions me to women.  If he left me out of his life story, we’d both be better off.  He wouldn’t have to explain why I don’t have anything to do with him, and I wouldn’t have to search for a box to check under “attending” that says, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?”

But once again I find that the lack of a response says everything I have to say.


20 responses »

  1. My father and I don’t speak either. Since I last saw him I have been married and divorced, graduated from college (his only child to do so) and at some point became a Real Adult Who Pays Bills. He has had a heart attack and married and she doesn’t even know I exist. Some days I’m not sure that this is how I prefer it. Despite what he has put me through, after everything I’ve suffered at his hands… part of me always wanted to be a daddy’s girl. I’ve hated him and spent so much of my life being angry and bitter, but somehow I think I would forgive him if he would just ask.

    At least you know this is how you want it. That is a gift.

  2. Henry – That’s hilarious. I know nothing about you but this comment, and yet I want to have a drink with you.

    Val – Yes, I know I’m lucky because it’s all very clear in my mind. Sad that I know I never want to see him again, but very happy that I have no confusion or guilt or sense of loss about it.
    Also, I would like to hug you. I’m proud of you, and I don’t even know you.

  3. Veaj, I think the way you are doing it is the best way to handle it (not that you need my affirmation) but I would be so tempted to write on their “3 will be attending. My husband and his other wife.” And then not show up.

  4. Oh believe me, I have my moments. I almost RSVP’d my mother and her new husband, because I don’t know that my father’s wife would recognize the names or that it was a joke, and it would be funny to picture my father freaking out when he sees the place cards at the reception.

    Or hell, just RSVP myself, to scare him.

  5. I am personally glad that he likes to get engaged/married so many times…I got the best gift of all!! – YOU!! hugs baby…

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