Monday’s child is fair of face, Tuesday’s child is full of grace.

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I was pregnant concurrent (almost to the day) with another woman.  It’s not so important who she is really, suffice it to say she’s a woman who did not have the opportunities, the partner and the insurance I had.

On a Monday, she had an abortion.  The very next day, Tuesday, I had a miscarriage.

The Sunday before, I’d asked her if she wanted me to hang out with her after her procedure, but she said she’d rather be alone.  It occurred to me that I was most likely the last person on earth she wanted to see at that point.

Before all this, we’d made plans to go shopping, and I’ve been a little sad that I haven’t heard from her since.  That’s when it occurred to me that maybe she thought she was the last person I wanted to see.

But that’s just silly.  I had no option but to lose my child, she felt she had no options.  What’s the difference, really?

I think today would be a good day to call her, and reextend the invitation.

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8 responses »

  1. While it may be silly, it is a real possibility that that is what she is thinking, (not everybody assumes that everyone thinks as openly and rationally* as you do) and I think it is a great idea to extend the invitation.

    *The idea of you as a paragon of rational just makes me giggle, but with regards to the crazy logic of human relations, I think it just might be true.

  2. I so fear cows, by the way.
    This would probably just be an amusing side note, if I didn’t have to do botanical field work on ranches.

    While I would agree that it is silly for someone else to think “In VJ’s mind, I threw away what she lost, I’d better stay away because she’ll resent me” because you clearly do not think that way, it is a conclusion someone suffering through grief and judgementalness might come to.

    Anyway, I hope the reunion works out for both of you.

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