We call this “focusing on the positive.” I’ll let you know how well it works.


Valancy Jane: Today I’m going to snort a line of coke off a piece of sushi, while skiing.

She Hulas: then you should go on a rollercoaster while drinking a bottle of wine and smoking a cigarette

Valancy Jane: Get my hair dyed while horseback riding.

She Hulas: then have a boxing match
full contact

Valancy Jane: With a rabid bear, who throws kitty litter boxes.


23 responses »

  1. Dress in khakis and get stoned with the koalas?

    Does eucalyptus work on humans the way it works on koalas?

    Wrestle nekked with amber in stinky cheese in the monkey house?

  2. I just re-read the original post and am now fitfully giggling* about the bears throwing the kitty litter boxes.
    But now that I think about it, it’s obvious you should do all of the aforementioned activities riding a unicorn between them.
    *which is sorta funny looking for a professor who is alone in her office weeping.

  3. I’ve been trying for a week to come up with better suggestions. Champagne in a hot tub? Roller derby on LSD? Sashimi as prep before bobsledding? Ski jumping nude? But basically you’ve covered the best one: peagasus ride (not pressurized) to southern france for picnic of raw milk cheeses, cold cuts, undercooked meats and lots and lots of red wine.

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