Hot Spicy Pepper Hands of Death.

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A few days ago I bought some small peppers for filling in a large stuffed pepper, without making note of what sort of pepper they are.  I can handle really really spicy stuff, never met a pepper I couldn’t handle, and didn’t expect to find one lying around in the organic aisle at Ralphs. 

Two days ago I was cutting them up in the breakroom here at work, and licked my finger.  Instantly my lips felt rubbed raw.  A coworker raved about my lipstick and I had to break it to here that I’m not wearing any.  I tenatively tried a nibble of the stuffed pepper and found that I had stuffed it with brimstone and misery and the almighty wrath of our vengeful God.  Waves of pain radiated from my face that could only be tempered by lining my mouth with graham cracker.  Over the course of the afternoon, I discovered that the pepper juice apparentally doesn’t wash off.  My hands were tingling, and I learned the hard way that touching my eye was a very, very, very bad idea.

Two days later, everything I touch is spicier than usual, my hands have to be bathed in lotion, and I can’t touch my eyes without tearing up.  It’s like I have a plague.

(Note to self, don’t masterbate.)

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21 responses »

  1. I learned the the hard way that those pepper juices don’t wash off with just soap and water. Well I should say I learned and my girlfreind at the time learned the hard way. She was not very happy with me and I was glad I didn’t rub my eyes that day.

  2. HA!

    You know, I am both intrigued and vaguely horrified at the idea of pepper-related explorations of the female nether regions.

    I mean, it’s just that it has the possibility of going so, so, so so so so wrong.

  3. You know, there is a k y gel (lubricant) that is ‘gently warming’. I reckon you might be at the gently warming stage rather than the ‘crap I got the deep heat mixed up with the lubricant’ stage. Go get to work and report back to us. 🙂

  4. I did that once. I bought serrano chiles at my local 99cent store. I made ceviche (fish baked by being soaked in lemon juice)

    Anyways, then we had people over and my hands were BURNING in much the same way you described. Holymotherofgod.

    Typically I can just wash my hands with a lemon (fresh one) and it would take the sting away but not this time.

    Now I know why they were 99cents for ten pounds.. LOL I have a sneaky suspicion terrorists planted them there but have no real proof to back it up.

  5. I’d love to, but no pictures. Not that I mind providing pictures, but someone stole my camera.

    By the way, Cols, somehow I missed your earlier comment. That box of purple latex gloves that that man dropped off over a year ago, IS THIS WHY?
    And HOW DID HE KNOW MY HAND SIZE? And how did he know that I’d “NEED THESE”?

  6. ha! i did that as a kid. touched my eye and then even worse i petted my cousins dog. the dog started whimpering and scratching himself.
    i onlytouched the pepper stem can you imagine if i touched the actual pepper? you poor thing. next time do milk.
    i’m half mexican who can’t handle spicey food trust me. lots of experience.

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