Why do colds make me so melodramatic?

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I can handle any other kind of pain or sickness like a champ, but along comes a fever and suddenly I can’t shut up about how my eyeballs are like bits of potato stewing in the crock pot of my skull.  When my boss agreed to let me take the next couple of days off, so it didn’t spread, I’m not sure if he meant the sniffles, or my pitiful little metaphor about “feeling as shitty as train brakes sound, as this fever rolls into my station with all the steam and hiss and screech of a train, but without all glamor, romance and old fashioned hats.”
No wonder he told me to go home.
My attitude needs to be quarantined.
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17 responses »

  1. Awwww 😦 me no likey that you’re sick 😦 I will say though, the bit about the “crock pot of your skull” made me chuckle, not because of the fact you really feel like that, but your way with words, even when sickly, never fails in its wittiness. 🙂 I hope you feel better 😦 and please if you need anything call me and I’ll deliver!

  2. My poor wittle baby. Come here so I rub your bellywelly. Vj wanna cuddle? Hu? My wittle VJ want a hot tea? Some chicken noodle soup? Some Nyquil? 😉

    I can totally relate. colds suck some major donkey D*&ck!

  3. Antonio the Glitter Pony says to get well soon because you two have a date and he doesn’t want you to miss it.

    *places a nice cool sheet over VJ, rubs her head as she sips hot tea and chicken broth, and watches cheesy t.v. shows*

  4. HEY you know what’s real good for veggie-tarians instead of chicken soup? Veggie-tarian won ton soup. I used to get that for my Princess Twinkie when she was sick.

  5. Dude, I was getting so caught up in re-living my childhood and what my Mommy used to do for me that I totally forgot about you being a vegatarian. Sorry. *Throws chicken broth out of the kitchen window and brings VJ some spicy thai soup, then makes Antonio the Glitter Pony do a tapdance/ballet number for Veaj*

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