Yes, a sunny seaside border town has rednecks. And because they aren’t many of them, it’s become a lifestyle choice, to be fully embraced, no going back. There are no sorta-rednecks. Only full on, southern accented even though they grew up right here, tan line across the forehead rednecks. Redneck, distilled. A case of island giantism, in spirit. They all firmly believe that they are real cowboys, although San Diego hasn’t had a cattle ranch here since the Gold Rush. We have a rodeo, but it’s all very dude ranch. Don’t tell them that, though.
Somehow we ended up right in the middle of their part of town. Well, not “somehow,” I know how. It was a house(!) with a yard(!) at an affordable price(!), all rarities here.
Worried that you might find yourself in such a place, that you might be considered the uppity neighbor just because you own books with no pictures, and drink imported beer and can handle a chopstick? The following are signs you might have landed in a redneck hotbed.
- You are the only woman on your block who is not pregnant.
- You actually hear the N-word. In song. And I don’t mean rap. At a PARTY.
- People only smoke cigarettes when they run out of chewing tobacco.
- They put up a billboard on a residential street. For Coors Light. In spanish.
- The bottles of champagne naively stocked by the middle eastern man who runs the corner liquor store when he first opened his store, have become very dusty, a condition he has stopped trying to combat.
- They are openly suspicious of any meal not accompanied by gravy or beans.
- It’s not a party unless you get the BIG bag of potato chips. That jumbo size you can only get at Walmart.
- The longest work of fiction you can find in a 10 mile radius is a bumper sticker.
- On saturdays, you can never escape the smell of BBQ.
- The local gossip really does sound like the lyrics to a country song. “She left him and took his dog, but he drove around until he spotted her truck outside his buddy’s house ……”
- Every yard has at least two sheds, one of which probably hasn’t been opened since Jimmy Carter was president.