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I signed for a delivery.
I refused delivery.
My name is Catalina.
I work for THEIR company.
It takes one day to drive two blocks from their warehouse to our office.
It takes four days to drive back.
My office supplies are capable of time travel.
Our building has no doors at all.
That is their official story.
“Uh, so all of us in engineering *points to row of windows on the building* are wondering what you’re doing. So they picked me to come out and ask you.”
I crawled out of the bush. “I’m looking for a rat.”
“Ok. But …………….. see, I personally accept that explanation, when I go back in there, they’re gonna want more.”
There’s the bell. You people have finally done it, you’ve used up the complete supply of the expression “thrown under the bus.”
There is no more left. So you can’t say it anymore.
As it turns out, today was “Give VJ Pellegrino Day.”
I know, it’s fine, I didn’t know either. I didn’t get you anything either.
I’m a little confused by it all. I mean, the first one was just a nice thought from a coworker. And I can understand if other people saw the bottle and said to themselves, “Hey, she likes Pellegrino. I have one. I should give it to her.” I understand that line of thought. But who carries Pellegrino around? It’s not like they sell it in the vending machine upstairs.
I suppose I shouldn’t question it.
Say a sheriff comes by to drop off a wage garnishment for one of our employees.
Suppose you say to him, “hey, could you just hang out here for a minute longer?”
And then you call a coworker and say, “Hey, I need you in the lobby right now.”
To see if, when they see the sheriff, they flush guiltily.
And if they don’t, say, “There’s been a bit of a mixup, and this nice man needs to know where I was last night. You know, WITH YOU.”
Just to see who your friends really are.
Apparently neither coworkers nor sheriffs find this particularly funny.
Is it possible to get a diagnosis of the postman’s mental health based solely on the number of rubber bands he uses on one bundle of mail?
Coworker K - “Are you still mad about the shock pen?”
Valancy Jane - “Hun, I’m not mad. I’m worried about you.” *slow smile*
So we have this printer/copier in our Engineering department.
And they moved it into an empty cube. Every time I pass that cube, I think to myself, they’re replacing us with machines, one by one.
After awhile I came to accept that this was simply the way of the future and that I should embrace “Larry” as a member of our team. I think Larry himself has become more comfortable in his cube too.
He’s begun to decorate, to bring in a few personal touches.
A drawing by his daughter, Jackie, his favorite pens, a calender…..
Today Larry brought in some lovely photos of his wife, Whitney.
Here’s their wedding, and below, that’s their honeymoon.
And I’ve come to realize that maybe, Larry the copier/printer and I aren’t really all that different.
I’ve also come to realize that ‘Rezzie and I might have too much time on our hands.
…… to call the new kid in Marketing a ho-face.
We were emailing about something and I was sarcastic and he said “burn” and I said, “whatever, ho-face” and now there’s been complete email silence for the past half hour ………….
I’d feel so much better if he’d just email me back and call me a douche nozzle or something.
This video is unedited.
