Valancy Jane


Valancy Jane does Vegetables.
July 19, 2008, 2:49 pm
Filed under: autobio, foooooooooood

Two weeks ago, I became a vegetarian. And it wasn’t something I intended to discuss here for awhile.

I’d known for awhile that I wanted to become one. It’s not that I really think it’s wrong, per se, to eat meat. It’s just that I live in a time and place where I have incredible options when it comes to food. And to kill another animal for food, when I have plenty of other healthy options just seems ……….. tacky. Wasteful.

I thought it would be hard, though. I’ve always craved a lot of protein. My comfort food is a roast chicken, cold, in my fridge. Carne asada is my idea of nirvana. So I thought becoming a vegetarian would involve a big party, a last meal (of rolled tacos), gifts that I registered for, and a tearful farewell. And of course all this couldn’t happen until I’d done a lot of research.

So I’d gotten as far as the research part, trying out recipes that didn’t include meat. Found some fantastic meals, and new comfort foods. And the other day as I was walking home from the grocery store I realized something. I ate meat when I went out with my friends, but I’d stopped buying it for myself at home.

I’d done it, I’d become a vegetarian months ahead of schedule, without really realizing it.

But I wasn’t sure it would stick, health-wise. What if I didn’t feel right a month in? So I figured I’d just keep it to myself until I was certain I’d worked all the kinks out.

I forgot how social a thing food is.

It came up to ……….. like, EVERYONE at work who wanted to bring me lunch, or split a sandwich, or who didn’t even ask and simply brought me one. It came up when Bethany was talking about cooking dinner, or when Jesse wanted me to try his soup.

And if the waiter at my favorite restaurant knows, then I suppose it’s past time to just mention it to the Internet.

Plus it’s a wonderful excuse for all the weight I’ve lost lately.



7-11
July 11, 2008, 10:04 am
Filed under: foooooooooood

It’s free slurpee day!



Holy crap.
July 10, 2008, 9:41 am
Filed under: foooooooooood

Cherry Passion Tic Tacs are the best things ever.

If you want a taste, you’ll just have to kiss me, ’cause I ain’t sharing mine.



I find it comforting to know that some things can be reduced to a mathematical formula.
June 23, 2008, 12:48 pm
Filed under: foooooooooood

The Perfect Cheese Sandwich Formula:

W  [1 + ((bd)/6.5)) - s + ((m-2c)/2) + ((v+p)/7t)] (100 + l/100)

W = the thickness of Cheddar in millimetres

B = The thickness of the bread

D = The dough flavour modifier

S = The thickness of margarine or butter

M = The thickness of mayonnaise

C = The creaminess modifier

V = The thickness of tomato

P = The depth of pickle

T = The tanginess modifier

I = The thickness of the lettuce layer



And thus, the Lord saweth my sandwich ….
June 17, 2008, 10:56 am
Filed under: foooooooooood

…… and was pleased.



Pretend you care.
June 10, 2008, 2:41 pm
Filed under: foooooooooood

I’ve decided I love Sam the Cooking Guy.

His recipes are rarely revolutionary, just interesting and EASY.  And I like easy.  You know, like Amber.  *wink*

I tried the salad from the episode where he went to an office to cook using only easily transported foods and office break room equipment.

It was easy, I cut up lettuce, tomatoes and pre-sliced pepperoni (works with your desk scissors in a pinch), and sprinkled pre-grated cheese and salad dressing over the whole thing.

Took less time than heating up a hot pocket.



I have a problem.
June 9, 2008, 8:54 pm
Filed under: foooooooooood

I can’t keep it in the house.  I can’t stop myself.

SOMEONE PLEASE TAKE THE PEPPERONI AWAY FROM ME.



I had one for her.
June 9, 2008, 3:28 pm
Filed under: actual conversations, conehead, foooooooooood, i love my job

Conehead - “Hey. Want a brownie?”

Chica in Marketing - “No, thanks.”

Valancy Jane - “That’s a filthy lie, [Chica in Marketing]. EVERYONE wants a brownie.”

Chica in Marketing - “Well, of course I do want one, I just don’t need one.”

Conehead - “Nobody NEEDS one. Just run up the stairs two at a time and then you can eat all the brownies you want.”

Valancy Jane - “I think you’re seriously underestimating how many brownies I want.”



Mmmmmmmm, pretzel snack mix.
June 6, 2008, 11:04 am
Filed under: actual conversations, foooooooooood

Snack Guy - “Don’t eat that whole bag and then complain to me, missy.”

Valancy Jane - “Ok.  I will eat the whole bag, but I won’t complain.  To you.”

 



You know what’s totally underrated?
May 22, 2008, 11:23 am
Filed under: foooooooooood

Apples.

Dark red shiny ones.