Archive for July, 2008

Nurse this.

31Jul08

Ok. So the free subscription to Nursing Magazine was one thing. The surveys solicitating my professional opinion as a nurse were another.
I accepted that somehow, I’d been confused with someone who was a nurse. It’s not so bad. Could come in handy someday, I supposed.
That day has come.
I got a letter [...]


….. I didn’t need to rant, I didn’t need a cheer up lunch, I just needed my big brother to tell me that it wasn’t my fault.
Thank God he knew that, even if I didn’t.


…. “Sleep is a virtue.”


…. it occurred to me that toothpaste with purple dye and glitter in it might not be be as whitening as I would hope.


And it wasn’t even me.
Or at my request.
 
I’M.  SO.  PROUD.


What I learned -
Maybe work isn’t the best place for this project.
Generally, no.  They don’t care for it.
But one guy was adament that his balls in no way resembled those of a bunny, and that “further research was needed.”
So it might be an effective pick up line.  Make a note.


Valancy Jane says:
Could the word groupie be used as a verb?
As in, “I totally groupied Jonny last night”?
Jonny says:
If you understand it, it’s a word.
That’s my philosophy.
Valancy Jane says:
Sounds fair.


………… it’s surprisingly hilarious.
Ted, a millionaire in the midst of a divorce (from a woman named Generosa) (I am not making this up) is found dead in his East Hamptom home.  Hilarity ensues. 
“She told him not to talk ’cause, you know, I mean, you know how Danny talks.”
Read the whole thing.  It just gets better and [...]


Yes, I have lost weight. No, I don’t know how much, I don’t own a scale or keep track. No, I don’t have cancer (that I know of), and no, I’m not on crystal meth (that I know of). No, it’s not a method I’d recommend. No, I’m not wearing baggy clothes to disguise my [...]


“The weather is warm, and in between planes, it’s quiet enough to hear that man blow his nose, inside his apartment.”