Maybe that’s the essential difference.

06May08

It started as a conversation about death, and life support.

I said I’d rather they leave me on it for awhile. Perhaps not if there was really no hope of coming out of it, or that my general aura radiated misery. But while I’m not afraid of what comes after death, I happen to rather like this life and this body. Maybe I’d LIKE being in a coma. Maybe I’d finally have all the time I’d ever wanted to sit and daydream.

I said that lying there on life support, while it doesn’t sound like something I’d sign up for, it also doesn’t sound to me like the nightmare it does to most people. I’ve always wished for more time to just sit and think. Just lie there and BE.

Bethany said she always remembered something my mother told her once, about me. She’s said that it was difficult to punish me, because if she sent me to my room, I wasn’t bored, if she took away books or tv, I found something else to entertain myself with, even if it was simply staring out a window.

And sometimes I wonder if that’s the thing that makes me different, and often happier than most people claim to be, that I’m so comfortable living in the space between my ears, that the gate between here and my “happy place” has no latch and swings noiselessly in the wind.