To a few lovely ladies I know …

20Apr08

…. who recently ended relationships -

This is one of the things I don’t envy about being young. When your first real relationship ends, you don’t know that it’s going to be ok, you don’t know the tidal waves of emotion recede, and that the friendship you forge with your ex isn’t formed now, but rather in a few months, when everything is less painful and mixed up.

You don’t yet know that the way it is now will not stay. And that’s gotta be hard, to face the pain without knowing that.

I don’t know what WILL happen, but I know it won’t continue to hurt like this.

And while it’s useful to examine the breakup for lessons, don’t go overboard with the blame. When you entered a relationship, you took a risk. You signed up for something with a lot of liability. And you’ll do it again. You’ll make mistakes again. You’ll fall in love with imperfect people who will unintentionally hurt you. And you’ll sign up for it all over again.

Relationships end. Like life, there is a beginning and an end. And that’s ok.  It’s not a failure because it ended.

Love is never a waste. Even if you pour love into someone who doesn’t give it right back, remember that love is like water. It doesn’t disappear, and what evaporates away comes back in rivers and rain in another season, and never a drop is lost from the world.

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