Dear Water Department,
21Mar08
I understand that mistakes can be made. But how is it that the route driver feels the need to shut off my water? You got my check, both you and my debit card agree on that.
Did everyone pay their bill this month and driver just didn’t want to get rusty on his water-turning-off skills?
And why has this happened TWICE? It’s making me paranoid.
Is there someone in your office that I slept with and didn’t call? Was I mean to someone there in high school? WHY DO YOU HATE ME?
Sincerely,
Valancy Jane
Filed under: can't make this shit up, rant | 5 Comments
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Tell me I'm pretty, dammit!
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DUDE!!!!!! Seriously? Creepy. Maybe he’s in kinder and he has a crush on you? And that’s the grown up version of “pulling your hair?”
eek. Just hope the electric co. meter reader dude doesn’t crush on you too!
That might explain my bill.
Dear Ms. VJ,
Your meter man has nothing to do with it. We’ve decided that we don’t like your pots and pans. Or glasses, come to think of it. Therefore, we’ve gone on strike. We demand that you buy new glasses—we refuse to even one more time be put in your Scooby-Doo plastic glass from 1981.
And clean your bathtub.
Once that’s done, we’ll consider coming out of your faucet again.
Love,
Your water.
OK, that was a lot funnier in my head.
Dear Water,
It’s a Winnie the Pooh bowl from 1983, ok?
For the record.
Love,
Valancy Jane